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Seven couples in ten have one argument that never gets resolved.

Not because someone is at fault. Because that argument isn't about what you argue over.

What pulled you together is usually also what grates now. Your two birth dates show which of the two is at work in your case.

Free · 90 seconds · no email

Source: Dr John Gottman, forty years of research on couples. 69% of all relationship conflict is perpetual.

Question 1 of 3

How long have you been together?

Question 2 of 3

Where does it usually get stuck?

Question 3 of 3

Who gives in first?

Recognise any of this?

Tick what applies to you. Honestly — nobody is watching, nothing is stored.

4of 6 recognised

These aren't separate arguments. This is one pattern repeating itself.

69% of what couples discuss never gets resolved. Not because they try too little — because they are discussing the wrong thing.

There is a way out. It starts with knowing which pattern it is.

1
Two dates

Your birth dates. Nothing else is needed.

2
One pattern

Which of the 45 combinations sits between the two of you — and why it grates.

3
A decision

What you do about it. Or that you stop. Both are an answer.

The difference isn't talking more.

It's whether you can call the recurring conflict by its name.

now 1 year 3 years
If you know the pattern The way it's going now

After Gottman: couples who name their recurring conflict and accept it are more often satisfied years later than couples who avoid it. The lines depict that finding — they are not a prediction about you.

Last question

What do you most want to understand?

Now the two dates.

The date only — you don't need a birth time. In numerology the day itself is what counts.

Free. No email needed.

Adding up until one number is left

You

The other

What pulls you together

Where it grates
🔒
What you set off in the other — and they in you
🔒
Where you'll stand in three years
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What works, and what to leave alone
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Free calculator. Nothing is stored. Privacy